Guests!

Ask anyone and they will tell you that unless it's close family a guest should remember the Golden Rule: "only stay for 3 nights".  Read any book written by an english man/woman who has bought a house in France and they will tell you that you can't rid of your guests once they are ensconced. I now understand what they were talking about!  I do realise that the sort of people who are buying little stone cottages in remote villages in the most remote and rural area of France are likely (as in my case) to be the sort who actively avoid other people when they can, but heck, why is only the guests you WANT to stay for longer who know the Golden Rule?  Of course I lay most of the blame at OAP's door as he was the one practically begging everyone we know to come and visit and "stay as long as you like", but on the other hand he, like me, thought they would at least get out and about and do some exploring on their own.

Our latest guest is an old business chum of OAPs and visits us in Europe every year, usually accompanied by his little fox terrier that I used to find cute.  Now he is old, cranky and sheds needle like hairs into (NOT onto) all the furniture that his doting owner allows him on (which is all of it).  He also has a dicey bowel.  So OAP suggested he get left behind in Germany this visit and we were both happy to hear an acknowledgement of this suggestion.  But Herr OAP obviously doesn't like to travel alone and asked if he could bring his grandson.  As we felt a bit guilty about the loose-bowelled dog we felt obliged to say this was fine.  So he turned up on Saturday with BOTH grandsons as the younger one "felt left out".  I must say that I enjoyed the company of the kids (much more my sort of thing than old men who do nothing but drink and pontificate) but he insisted that they were HIS responsibility and that I mustn't do anything for them.  Stupid me - taking him at his word!  I was obviously supposed to say "No No I insist" but didn't and watched these poor boys go through boredom, hunger and homesickness while Oupa drank himself into a coma each day.  Eventually I'd had enough and insisted he take them to the lake for a swim (the temperatures here are incredibly high - yes, I know, it was only a short time ago that I was whining about the cold) but he would only go if we also went.  SO into the car we piled, the two OAPs in the front in comfort and the 2 boys and me in the back seat with both boys tickling, punching and kicking each other - God, how my hand itched!  Once at the lake the men spent half an hour examining the menu at the restaurant while the boys and I went to the beach.  But they wouldn't go in! OAP and Herr OAP arrived finally at the beach and there we sat, roasting, waiting for the boys to swim.  Eventually OAP borrowed a cozzie and went in himself, whereupon the boys joyfully followed!  Hmmmm.  As soon as he came out of the water so did they and then they wanted to eat.  We had lunch at the restaurant and then went home where the boys decided they were bored and hungry!  I made supper and we watched TV - I went to bed at 11 leaving them all up waiting for a phone call from German Mom.
Tuesday I thought they were leaving and had made pad kos for them the night before but instead was gleefully told that they were now going to visit the Wolves of Chabriere and the Maze.  I garbed up in gardening togs, grabbed the weed whacker and pretended to be an invading British army attacking across the Rhine!  They came back at 3pm having seen the Wolves (not a word about how good or bad it was) not the Maze but the inside of a supermarket that Herr Oupa liked and the boys were starving as they had eaten nothing since breakfast (a slice of bread with cold meat).  So I cooked for them and went off with our neighbours to a local village celebration (the 1st anniversary of the bakery).  Came back at 6pm to find them braaing so made potato salad and a huge green salad to go with the meat. 
Wednesday I thought they were leaving (you would think I would learn!) only to find they wanted to go to the local market.  That took up the best part of an hour and then they were bored and - guess what? - hungry!   They actually left yesterday - our fridge is bare and we are exhausted and the house looked like a tip!  I spent all day cleaning and washing bedding which I ironed in 31 degree heat today, while OAP took to his bed!!
Next guests arrive end of August.

Les French insects

Why is it that insects bite me and leave OAP alone?  Is it because I am a sweet little morsel and OAP is a grumpy old fart?  Yeah!!   We have our second batch of guests - OAP's old chum from Dusseldorf and his two grandsons.  Thank heavens he left the dog at home!  Actually I like the boys very much: aged 14 and 10 the younger one reminds me of my dearest grandson who I miss like mad over here.  Today we dragged them, kicking and screaming to two vide-greniers in the amazing heat (29 degrees) and then bought them cokes and lunch for being such sports!  They bought themselves (DON'T ask me why) a pair of ice tongs and proceeded to irritate everyone for the rest of the day with them!  Eventually the 10 year old fell asleep in the car and the 14 year old, after a valiant effort not to, followed shortly after and peace reigned for an hour!  At home again they had great fun in the road (no traffic) with their remote control cars.  Supper was only at  9 pm - lasagna and salad- eaten in the garden while slapping at the midges and mozzies.  Both boys know to present themselves to me at 7pm to have stuff sprayed and smeared on to try to keep them at bay (the midges and mozzies - not the boys) but itdoesn't seem to help much.  I bought citronella candles and have them burning all over the place but it seems to draw the insects not repel them.

Tomorrow we're off to the lake which hopefully will be more to the boys taste as they are driving OAP mad with their noise, their cars and their restlessness.  Sigh - why can't adults remember what it was like to be a child stuck with a bunch of grumpy old farts?

An evening out - French country stlye

Last night we attended a pig roast at our local Mairie (town hall this sort of translates as, although ours acts as a primary school and council offices as well as somewhere we can have events like this).  The pig was spitted and began its slow cooking early in the morning while OAP and I were investigating yet another car- boot sale.  We bought a very amateurish picture of a cat - for the frame!  I bought 2 plates for my new wall collection and I managed to knock 10 euros off a pair of curtains for ''Sally's'' room.  Then it was off to the Bricolage to exchange our weed-eater for a small lawn mower.  Reason for this?  We decided that unless I get a top of the range monster I'm not going to be able to tackle the weeds across the road in the orchard.  I have been doing it by hand, but if you stop for a couple of days (to allow the insect bites to subside) the weeds have grown back almost to what they were before!  Our neighbour Peter came up with the solution: he, or Jo-Ann (our estate agent would you believe!)  will do the first slash of the season then it's up to us to keep on top of it.  He doesn't use his weed-eater any more as he uses Jo's monster, petrol driven, harness worn, and cuts through virtually anything.  So he's said we can take over his old one - in exchange I'll make him curtains for his bedrooms! Love this exchange system and neighbourly-ness.  I worried that I would get twitchy never being able to go outside without Peter popping out but he seems to know when I don't want to be sociable so at the moment all is fine.
Back to the pig roast: It was scheduled for 6pm but we only left home at 7pm (me thinking - how rude!) and got there 10 minutes later - in time to help put out plates, serviettes, etc!!  Peter, who seems to know EVERYONE, introduced us to a number of people and then we were off!  It seems everyone was excited to have new inhabitants and knew we were from SA and wanted to discuss the Tour de France, Bradley Wiggins and Chris Froome - our knowledge was sadly lacking and it was up to them to tell US!!!  We met Monsieur Le Mair who, when I could understand him, was interesting, telling us about the local chateaux of the area.  At about 8.30pm they decided the pig was done and took it off the spit and carved it up - it was HUGE but as there were 67 people to eat it there was plenty to go round but not much left over!  The local ladies had made a potato salad and a moroccan couscous (using mint from our garden!) and a carrot salad.  Very nice.  As the only ''table d'anglais'' we were slightly disappointed that there was no crackling.  The french have never heard of it!  We tried couenne, grillée to no avail.  Gilbert (local electrician) tried his best by rescuing some fatty bits and seperately grilling them while the rest of the pig was cut up but I have an idea that it is a very english invention.  After stuffing ourselves with pork we moved on to tiramisu, pear tart (a local specialty), forest berry quiche, madelaines, chocolate mousse and ice cream.  Then the dancing began - a bunch of ladies and one guy decided to demonstrate the local dancing - the man was so bad that they eventually pushed him out of the group!  The women danced wildly and it was charming.  Then there was a waltz to the tune that Morticia and Gomez, of The Addams Family, danced to!  It made even me want to dance, but I didn't as I just can't waltz.  Then they got Peter to teach them some line dancing which was hilarious as they were a clumsy, unruly bunch - yes even the ladies!!  There were some children there who also danced and one little girl, like a doll, who watched the adults carefully and then tried to dance by herself - arms out and dancing backwards like the women!  It was so cute!  No one made a fuss of the kids, they were at home and well behaved and not precocious at all.  If they got a bit wild then one of the parents would speak to them and they were as good as gold again.  I didn't take the camera as I had dragged it around every day and yesterday gave it a rest - what a mistake!  I took a couple of pics with the cell phone OAP had with him but it's an old one and I have no way of uploading them to the computer!  We came home close on midnight and our little ''village'' was peaceful with bats flying around the lone street light and a slight breeze stirring the leaves on the silver birches.