Post Pole-dancing Party

Well we all survived the Hen Party and the boys all survived the Stag night! The ladies arrived about 3pm to be welcomed by a blue drink in a champagne glass rimmed with sugar! I didn't partake or I'd have been under the table before the bride arrived seeing as I haven't had alcohol for 2 years now! Later on someone was making Strawberry Daquiris and very kindly made me a virgin one which was delicious but the next one I had was definitely NOT virgin and I felt it straight away as my brain slid from side to side inside my skull. The party was great fun and the pole dancer was very talented and charismatic and Bride To Be was a real sport. I even had a go as did BTB's mother, Daughters #1 and #2 and others. I have loads of pictures but haven't a clue how to get them from my Omnia to the computer. I have a cable and thought it was just a matter of plugging in and uploading but the whole affair just sits and sulks and my laptop pretends it can't "see" the Omnia, which I know it can because it lights up when I plug the USB cable in (you see, I have the jargon but not the skills!). Anyway I did go to a quick photo shop and a print off one of the photos of BTB upside down on the shiny pole! Apart from the fact that her bum is full on to the camera its a brilliant shot! Daughter #1 was designated Mother Hen and had to go with the bridal party to a nightclub which I am sure she will tell you all about in her Blog while Daughter #2 and I stayed home and looked after the kids and (once they were all asleep) cleaned up the incredible mess left behind. Golden Boy apparently went go-cart racing before being dressed as a girl in a pink tutu and tiara and chained to a lamppost in Sandton. The rest of the "boys" divided into teams and had a "treasure map" with cryptic clues and had to find him. Shame - I believe the stripper didn't turn up at his party!!! Daughter #1's man arrived home about 11 pm looking very much the worse for wear and stood in the kitchen for nearly half an hour waiting for the kettle to boil but as I had unplugged it so I could plug my laptop in he didn't really stand much of a chance of a nice sobering cup of coffee!!! Eventually I took pity on him and unplugged my appliance and plugged in his and then I went to bed which I was sharing with Gorgeous Grandson who plastered his tiny body up against mine all night so I was scared to fall asleep in case I rolled over and squashed him (like a sow with her litter in the stye!!). Daughter #1 arrived home about half an hour later having manoevred a very drunk BTB out of toilet stall and then out of a fishpond! Before loading her into a car for the journey home.
Next morning Daughter #1 and man left for Sun City and I left for home leaving Daughter #2 with all the kids! Got home to find 3 men in their 70s acting like spotty teenagers, talking dirty and drinking like fish! Two of them left (not sure if they were planning to go quite so soon but I think my disapproving looks spurred them on their way) and I was left with PO15 all to myself. Cleaned MY house and then sat, exhausted, by a roaring log fire for a couple of hours.

PoleDancing Hen Party

Nagged by Daughter #1 into writing a new blog I decided to get it done before leaving the tranquillity of the bush for the hustle and bustle of the city and a Pole Dancing Hen Party!! Have you ever? In MY day we would have the bride around to the bridesmaids house, lay on sandwiches and a decadent cake with a bottle of bubbly and everyone would give presents like spatulas, cake tins, cookie cutters, a potato masher, tea towels and everything else to start the bride off the way she needed to go!! Barefoot and in the kitchen! Now I'm told that if I want to take smellies or lingerie I am welcome - how things have changed!! Sigh!! I was supposed to have a dress fitting this morning too but no phone call from dressmaker so I suppose she will phone on Monday when I am back here. I bought some make-up yesterday with a VERY made up Afrikaans prikkel-pop telling me what I needed - the amount of money I spent I may as well have had my face professionally done by The Bride's make-up artist. But I decided against that in case she made me look like an elderly whore of Babylon and anyway I am bound to cry it off during the ceremony! This way, I can replenish throughout the proceedings and even have some left over for another occasion - God knows what that would be but you never know.

We were burgled last week - during broad daylight! They must have been watching the house and had someone posted elsewhere to tell them we had left the property as they hit shortly after we left. They took an old computer we had left out deliberately and a camera that was broken and a watch that didn't work!!! They must have been a bit miffed with the stuff we had here especially as all the good stuff was locked in the store room or with us in the car! Partner of 15 Years (PO15) was sad because they cleaned him out of all his good whiskey and the gin left over from my birthday! The police finally arrived at 9.30pm and wandered all over touching everything so that when the fingerprint technician came the next afternoon there wasn't much worth fingerprinting! The worst of it was that with the house open we were hit my monkeys or baboons after they had left! They left the fridge and freezer doors open so most of the food was gone - the meat I presume to the more upright-walking baboons and the bread and veggies to the other primates. Next day I found all sorts of our stuff they had decided wasn't worth taking lying across the river in the bush.

Such is life her, but we are off in a couple of weeks to Switzerland, where we will lick our wounds and get over it and come back refreshed and ready to fight another day. Meanwhile PO15 is now installing the burglar alarm with siren, strobe light and pepper spray which he was supposed to instal 2 weeks ago - not that I am blaming anyone you understand?