Time to Leave

It's always sad to pack up and leave somewhere you love.  But this is a particularly annoying pack-up as we need to move as much as we can from the ground floor to the first floor - that includes carpets, pictures and cushions.  I must have mentioned before that the ground floors of these old stone houses in France have a damp problem.  That is probably one of the understatements of 2013 actually, as our Ozzie neighbour sometimes has puddles forming on the flagstones when it's partcularly wet outside!  One of the problems with the houses is they have no foundations to speak of and certainly no damp-proof course!  The original floors in our particular house have been removed or tiled over but still without a damp course so salt peter oozes through the exquisite French tiles making white patterns all over the ground floor!  We also have a granite staircase leading to the first floor and the first 4 or 5 steps of this become dark and slimy-looking in wet weather but as soon as the rain stops and the weather dries they go back to their nice pale grey colour.
With only 4 days left to go I got a sudden bee in my bonnet to try to get more sunshine into the field across the road.  There is an ancient stone wall all around which was hidden by thickets of hazel and beech.  When we arrived I loved this and thought it gave us "privacy" - but you don't need privacy here, so yesterday I began clearing them.  After three hours and on the verge of stopping for the night, OAP came out to give a hand and between us we cleared the whole of one side of the field.  It looks so different and hopefully the morning sun will now pour in and dry the grass and encourage the summer flowers I planted this year to grace us with as pretty a picture as was on the VERY EXPENSIVE box!   Our compost heap is now 6 feet high and is nothing a little petrol and a match won't fix!  But seeing as we are on the edge of a forest it will have to be a wet day that the deed gets done - our neighbour has promised to do it in November, the time fires are apparently allowed here.
So it's off back to Switzerland on Wednesday morning and from there a flight home to the family and our house in the bush and another titanium knee for OAP.  After all the heavy work we've done here there can't be much of the old one left!

Roof maintenance in the Limousin.

And having filled the barn with firewood we needed to make sure it was watertight.  This is Arjan, a Dutch builder living in a village nearby-ish who had this nifty set of ladders:  on two of them a scaffolding platform fits so that he can stand and take the tiles off.  He cleaned off the moss (which grows on everything here) which looks charming but is the cause of most roof problems as it spreads between and under the tiles and then in winter freezes and expands and finally shifts the tiles out of place.  Then he replaced some battens which were rotten and finally replaced the tiles.  This is just a temporary repair as the whole roof needs to be taken off next year and timbers repaired, replaced or just treated for woodworm.  As they build mostly with oak woodworm isn't regarded as a huge problem as the worm seldom gets deeper than an inch into the huge oak beams.  But one needs to keep a close eye on it and we all have tins of deadly poisonous stuff that we are supposed to paint on any dubious looking wood! 

Oh I'm a Lumberjack and it's OK!

Our wood for next winter was delivered!!!  Now OAP just had to move it into the barn and stack it neatly!  It took 2 men 2 days but they did it (both OAPs) and amazingly OAP's back was better AFTER than before!!  This pile is 10 cordes - 6 ours and 4 Peter's (which he is storing inside with ours as he has no barn).  It is now neatly stacked against the back wall in a triple row and looks great.  We keep going in to admire it!

Lost in a Cloud!

We woke up this morning to discover that we are lost in cloud - this prompted a lusty singing of "Lost in a cloud, can't look back, la la la la la la la, babeeee"  and then an argument about whether that song, which I am sure was sung by Elvis, was lost in a cloud or lost in a crowd.  Anyone know?  I tried to Google it with no luck.   This weekend is the medieval reinactment of the capture and imprisonment of the muslim Prince Zizim by the Knights Templar.  He was brought back to Bourganeuf and imprisoned in the tower in the centre of town where he apparently lived a luxurious life and eventually became a celebrated member of Frenc society!  They named the tower after him and the main street that runs through town.  But yesterday it rained all day and this morning is a thick mist so I think we'll give the celebrations a miss.  Our neighbours also decided to give it a miss and went elsewhere for their shopping where they found fresh mussels being brought into the poissonerie by the ton.  They bought a huge sackful and came home and invited us to a moules and frites evening.  This was great except for the fact that I am (or was years ago and am reluctant to see if I still am) allergic to them.  No problem, Carol whipped up two lamb fillets for me and I loved the frites and the company!  The others had a HUGE platter full of mussels which they despatched with no trouble at all.  Lots of wine was drunk - actually OAP and I had begun with a glass of wine at 12 noon while I was Skyping Middle Dearie in Oz.  She was ensconced in her camper van somewhere in the wilds of the Australian East Coast in freezing weather and having a glass of vino before going to bed so we thought it appropriate to join her!  I've found a wine I can drink at least two glasses of - Pamplemousse rose (hmm cant get the accent on the e) which is a speciality of the area.  No-one else likes it much as it's slightly sweet and they tend to serve it locally as an aperitif - rose with added grapefruit liqueur - but mine is ready made, cheapish and bought from Aldi!  You know, if I lived here all the time I may just become an alcoholic in my own pathetic way!!

Flaming WHAT?

After 3 months here in Augerolles I have finally seen my first Flaming Salamander!  OAP went downstairs the other morning to make me a cuppa and called out that he'd found a lizard on the floor and what should he do with it?  I went down - braving the 8 degrees that we are back to (what happened to summer?   Is that all we get here? One month?)   and in the early morning gloom saw a very sad, sluggish lizardy looking thing.  OAP scooped it up in a shallow Tupperware and I predicted that it would die shortly as its skin looked dehydrated and sort of stuck to its bones.  You know when you find a dead lizard that's got dehydrated?  Well it looked like that but it was moving sluggishly.  Anyway we took it outside and as soon as I saw it in the sunlight I realised it was a Flaming Salamander.  Grabbing the camera I took a photo and then groped my way down the cellar steps to see if there were any more and lo and behold there was one at the bottom of the steps!  I think it was slowly (they really move very slowly like chameleons) making up its mind to follow its brother upstairs into the wide world of Above!   Actually as I went down and back up the cellar steps I really hoped I wouldn't stand on one or put my hand on one!!  I think Flaming Whatnots are all very well in their place but the bottom of my foot or the palm of my hand is not the best place to be - if you are an FS!  Of course Sammy Salamander who HAD made it to Above had only been able to because OAP had left the cellar door open for a day or so unknown to me.  This is a bone of contention as he wants to "air" the cellar out and I do NOT want Flaming thingies all over my kitchen and anyway its spooky and also it is supposed to be damp or the salamanders will dry out or move out and as we are supposed to feel priveledged that they are in our cellar in the first place we may as well keep conditions perfect for them.

Mind your language!

Just when I think my French is improving something happens to set me back a pace or two (reminding me of the old fashioned tikkie-draai form of dancing - two steps forward, one step back).   A week last Sunday we were having a smashing time at a local car-boot sale, where we knew a lot of people making it a really social occasion.  We decided to have lunch altogether in the marquee erected for that reason and everyone was tossing back the Sangria, beers and wine.  I just CAN'T drink like that (especially in the middle of a very hot day!) so asked for an 'eau mineral' - the barman asked me to repeat it, so I did - twice more - and then he said in perfect english "tell me in english"!  I said 'WATER' and he said Oh!  For heavens sake - my accent can't be THAT bad can it!!!!   The second occasion was at the AGM of our local heritage association which was followed by (also rather boozy) lunch.   As we were all sitting genteely burping and quaffing the last of the red wine, the chairman maqde his way behind everyone, leaning down to say a few words here and there.  When he got to us he leaned over us and asked a question which I assumed to be something along the lines of "Did you enjoy your lunch?"  to which I gaily and sincerely replied "Oui, tres bien, merci" .   He looked a bit surprised and actually rather delighted and carried on up the table.   I sat back satisfied with my performance and got re-involved in the chatter around us.   A little later a voice announced that petanque (boules) was being set up outside and would we all get a move on please and a funny little niggle wormed its way into my brain - had Michel asked if we'd enjoyed the lunch or had he asked IF WE PLAY PETANQUE?   It was the latter and not only THAT but it was played with wooden cubes and NOT round balls which we are used to!   But it made for a really hilarious afternoon in the HOT sun during which I developed a dreadful neck and arms and top of bosoms tan!!  And it also broke the ice with an awful lot of people we had met but not really gelled with!   After 12 games (a set) which the men won (OAP hadn't a clue what he was supposed to do but aquitted himself with honour!) everyone had a couple of beers - even me (well it was hot!) and then the ladies called for a re-match (which the men also won but only by one point which we agreed was necessary for them to retain their dignity) after which the rest of the crate of beers was despatched with.  I managed to sneakily fill a bottle with water and so kept all the pressure off!  It was 5.30 pm by the time the party broke up and we made our way home - agreeing that France, especially the Limousin, is a great place to be on a lazy sunny day.

Guests!

Ask anyone and they will tell you that unless it's close family a guest should remember the Golden Rule: "only stay for 3 nights".  Read any book written by an english man/woman who has bought a house in France and they will tell you that you can't rid of your guests once they are ensconced. I now understand what they were talking about!  I do realise that the sort of people who are buying little stone cottages in remote villages in the most remote and rural area of France are likely (as in my case) to be the sort who actively avoid other people when they can, but heck, why is only the guests you WANT to stay for longer who know the Golden Rule?  Of course I lay most of the blame at OAP's door as he was the one practically begging everyone we know to come and visit and "stay as long as you like", but on the other hand he, like me, thought they would at least get out and about and do some exploring on their own.

Our latest guest is an old business chum of OAPs and visits us in Europe every year, usually accompanied by his little fox terrier that I used to find cute.  Now he is old, cranky and sheds needle like hairs into (NOT onto) all the furniture that his doting owner allows him on (which is all of it).  He also has a dicey bowel.  So OAP suggested he get left behind in Germany this visit and we were both happy to hear an acknowledgement of this suggestion.  But Herr OAP obviously doesn't like to travel alone and asked if he could bring his grandson.  As we felt a bit guilty about the loose-bowelled dog we felt obliged to say this was fine.  So he turned up on Saturday with BOTH grandsons as the younger one "felt left out".  I must say that I enjoyed the company of the kids (much more my sort of thing than old men who do nothing but drink and pontificate) but he insisted that they were HIS responsibility and that I mustn't do anything for them.  Stupid me - taking him at his word!  I was obviously supposed to say "No No I insist" but didn't and watched these poor boys go through boredom, hunger and homesickness while Oupa drank himself into a coma each day.  Eventually I'd had enough and insisted he take them to the lake for a swim (the temperatures here are incredibly high - yes, I know, it was only a short time ago that I was whining about the cold) but he would only go if we also went.  SO into the car we piled, the two OAPs in the front in comfort and the 2 boys and me in the back seat with both boys tickling, punching and kicking each other - God, how my hand itched!  Once at the lake the men spent half an hour examining the menu at the restaurant while the boys and I went to the beach.  But they wouldn't go in! OAP and Herr OAP arrived finally at the beach and there we sat, roasting, waiting for the boys to swim.  Eventually OAP borrowed a cozzie and went in himself, whereupon the boys joyfully followed!  Hmmmm.  As soon as he came out of the water so did they and then they wanted to eat.  We had lunch at the restaurant and then went home where the boys decided they were bored and hungry!  I made supper and we watched TV - I went to bed at 11 leaving them all up waiting for a phone call from German Mom.
Tuesday I thought they were leaving and had made pad kos for them the night before but instead was gleefully told that they were now going to visit the Wolves of Chabriere and the Maze.  I garbed up in gardening togs, grabbed the weed whacker and pretended to be an invading British army attacking across the Rhine!  They came back at 3pm having seen the Wolves (not a word about how good or bad it was) not the Maze but the inside of a supermarket that Herr Oupa liked and the boys were starving as they had eaten nothing since breakfast (a slice of bread with cold meat).  So I cooked for them and went off with our neighbours to a local village celebration (the 1st anniversary of the bakery).  Came back at 6pm to find them braaing so made potato salad and a huge green salad to go with the meat. 
Wednesday I thought they were leaving (you would think I would learn!) only to find they wanted to go to the local market.  That took up the best part of an hour and then they were bored and - guess what? - hungry!   They actually left yesterday - our fridge is bare and we are exhausted and the house looked like a tip!  I spent all day cleaning and washing bedding which I ironed in 31 degree heat today, while OAP took to his bed!!
Next guests arrive end of August.

Les French insects

Why is it that insects bite me and leave OAP alone?  Is it because I am a sweet little morsel and OAP is a grumpy old fart?  Yeah!!   We have our second batch of guests - OAP's old chum from Dusseldorf and his two grandsons.  Thank heavens he left the dog at home!  Actually I like the boys very much: aged 14 and 10 the younger one reminds me of my dearest grandson who I miss like mad over here.  Today we dragged them, kicking and screaming to two vide-greniers in the amazing heat (29 degrees) and then bought them cokes and lunch for being such sports!  They bought themselves (DON'T ask me why) a pair of ice tongs and proceeded to irritate everyone for the rest of the day with them!  Eventually the 10 year old fell asleep in the car and the 14 year old, after a valiant effort not to, followed shortly after and peace reigned for an hour!  At home again they had great fun in the road (no traffic) with their remote control cars.  Supper was only at  9 pm - lasagna and salad- eaten in the garden while slapping at the midges and mozzies.  Both boys know to present themselves to me at 7pm to have stuff sprayed and smeared on to try to keep them at bay (the midges and mozzies - not the boys) but itdoesn't seem to help much.  I bought citronella candles and have them burning all over the place but it seems to draw the insects not repel them.

Tomorrow we're off to the lake which hopefully will be more to the boys taste as they are driving OAP mad with their noise, their cars and their restlessness.  Sigh - why can't adults remember what it was like to be a child stuck with a bunch of grumpy old farts?

An evening out - French country stlye

Last night we attended a pig roast at our local Mairie (town hall this sort of translates as, although ours acts as a primary school and council offices as well as somewhere we can have events like this).  The pig was spitted and began its slow cooking early in the morning while OAP and I were investigating yet another car- boot sale.  We bought a very amateurish picture of a cat - for the frame!  I bought 2 plates for my new wall collection and I managed to knock 10 euros off a pair of curtains for ''Sally's'' room.  Then it was off to the Bricolage to exchange our weed-eater for a small lawn mower.  Reason for this?  We decided that unless I get a top of the range monster I'm not going to be able to tackle the weeds across the road in the orchard.  I have been doing it by hand, but if you stop for a couple of days (to allow the insect bites to subside) the weeds have grown back almost to what they were before!  Our neighbour Peter came up with the solution: he, or Jo-Ann (our estate agent would you believe!)  will do the first slash of the season then it's up to us to keep on top of it.  He doesn't use his weed-eater any more as he uses Jo's monster, petrol driven, harness worn, and cuts through virtually anything.  So he's said we can take over his old one - in exchange I'll make him curtains for his bedrooms! Love this exchange system and neighbourly-ness.  I worried that I would get twitchy never being able to go outside without Peter popping out but he seems to know when I don't want to be sociable so at the moment all is fine.
Back to the pig roast: It was scheduled for 6pm but we only left home at 7pm (me thinking - how rude!) and got there 10 minutes later - in time to help put out plates, serviettes, etc!!  Peter, who seems to know EVERYONE, introduced us to a number of people and then we were off!  It seems everyone was excited to have new inhabitants and knew we were from SA and wanted to discuss the Tour de France, Bradley Wiggins and Chris Froome - our knowledge was sadly lacking and it was up to them to tell US!!!  We met Monsieur Le Mair who, when I could understand him, was interesting, telling us about the local chateaux of the area.  At about 8.30pm they decided the pig was done and took it off the spit and carved it up - it was HUGE but as there were 67 people to eat it there was plenty to go round but not much left over!  The local ladies had made a potato salad and a moroccan couscous (using mint from our garden!) and a carrot salad.  Very nice.  As the only ''table d'anglais'' we were slightly disappointed that there was no crackling.  The french have never heard of it!  We tried couenne, grillée to no avail.  Gilbert (local electrician) tried his best by rescuing some fatty bits and seperately grilling them while the rest of the pig was cut up but I have an idea that it is a very english invention.  After stuffing ourselves with pork we moved on to tiramisu, pear tart (a local specialty), forest berry quiche, madelaines, chocolate mousse and ice cream.  Then the dancing began - a bunch of ladies and one guy decided to demonstrate the local dancing - the man was so bad that they eventually pushed him out of the group!  The women danced wildly and it was charming.  Then there was a waltz to the tune that Morticia and Gomez, of The Addams Family, danced to!  It made even me want to dance, but I didn't as I just can't waltz.  Then they got Peter to teach them some line dancing which was hilarious as they were a clumsy, unruly bunch - yes even the ladies!!  There were some children there who also danced and one little girl, like a doll, who watched the adults carefully and then tried to dance by herself - arms out and dancing backwards like the women!  It was so cute!  No one made a fuss of the kids, they were at home and well behaved and not precocious at all.  If they got a bit wild then one of the parents would speak to them and they were as good as gold again.  I didn't take the camera as I had dragged it around every day and yesterday gave it a rest - what a mistake!  I took a couple of pics with the cell phone OAP had with him but it's an old one and I have no way of uploading them to the computer!  We came home close on midnight and our little ''village'' was peaceful with bats flying around the lone street light and a slight breeze stirring the leaves on the silver birches.  

Well here we are in the middle of a European summer in the rain!  I think we've had ab
out 5 days of sunshine since we have been here.  I don't mind but OAP gets a bit depressed and I daren't tell him that a friend has informed me that these crummy non-summers are forecast for the next 10 years!!  Poor OAP - we saw the house for the first time in sunshine, came back to show sis in sunshine and returned in September 2012 to sign the final papers in the sunshine, so he thought it was sunny at least SOME of the time!  Now, forgive me if I am wrong, but isn't it pretty obvious that if a place is as green and fertile as Ireland then chances are that it rains sometimes - MOST of the time?!!!!  I actually like the rain as I can have a wood fire and cook on it - see picture above!  I brought my Le Creuset pot with us and it is fantastic for cooking on top of the wood burner. 

When we arrived the house was damp, smelled funny and had mould growing on the furniture in the lounge where one of the walls has a damp patch bubbling through!  It was SO cold that we turned the central heating on as well as using the woodburners and within a week the house was dry and we turned off the CH as neither of us could bear the constant heat in all the rooms! 

Once we bought a TV we set up the Sky box and now pick up 80 english channels so have been able to watch Countryfile and Springwatch which informed us that this Spring/Summer is very unusual for Europe - hello?   Then we bought a bed, duvet and pillows for any guests.   Then it was a few bits of furniture and a weed whacker to tackle the invasion of nettles and cow parsley growing in the field across the road which I think is supposed to be an orchard.  OAP got stuck into the little forest at the back where he discovered an ancient rubbish pit full of broken glass and old tin cans.  He bagged them and hauled them off to the dump and we are now looking for someone to cut down a couple of trees that are not indigenous and make the forest dark so nothing grows there (except trees of course!).

Our final triumph is getting connected to the internet - the Tourist Bureau is going to miss our company as we normally parked outside their office in Bourganeuf and connected to their WiFi!

We have our first guests and they LOVE the house too - although she did give a pile of tumble drier sheets which are perfumed.  She said she takes them whenever they travel to put among their clothes and especially in musty drawers and cupboards - do you think she was trying to tell me something?!!  Anyway I accepted her idea with gusto as I have little bowls of vanilla essence everywhere trying to mask the musty smell in all the rooms!  That's not to mention the occasional whiff of the ancient septic tank which needs emptying!  No, I lie, not emptying but replacing, but at 10000 euros that will have to wait till another year.

Wine tasting with a difference

We have been showing Belgian friends of ours South Africa – beginning with Utopia and the Pilanesberg Game Reserve and ending with wine-tasting in Stellenbosch.

They loved everything they were shown and we were very proud South Africans as the weather was perfect, they experienced no crime in the 2 weeks they were here, everywhere we went the roads were clean with verges mown and the few restaurants we ate in didn’t let us down.

We could have just stayed in Utopia which they thought was heaven as they sat on the stoep with Gin & Tonic in hand watching the animals on the property across the river! To them this was “Africa” with bells on! But we went 10 steps further and took them to Pilanesberg where we virtually saw everything but lion, leopard and cheetah. They were in ecstasy over the troop of baboons we saw, never mind the vast herds of buck, zebra and elephants, and as for giraffe – positively orgasmic!

They were so interested in Kimberley, its Big Hole and history, that we were sorry we hadn’t organized a 2 night stay with a tour guide – something we did 6 years ago for OAP's Scots family. They loved Karoo National Park even though we only saw a few Red Hartebeest and a couple of enormous tortoises – to them it was the wilds of Africa, despite the Easter Weekend crowds that were there.

Orgasmic doesn’t even begin to describe their reactions to the Cape Mountains as we went up and over DuToits Kloof Pass and down into the winelands below Paarl. Our arrival in Cape Town (which had experienced a couple of weeks of rain and howling gales) was perfect with sunny weather and a light breeze. We had one day of scattered showers (would you believe it was the day we went to Kirstenbosch! ) But being Belgian they actually told us that that would be considered good weather for them back home!!! We drove up the coast to Hermanus in the hope of seeing a stray whale or two that had decided to stay behind in the Cape just to entertain tourists, calling in at Harold Porter Nature Reserve for lunch on the way home. She had Bobotie and then spent the rest of the week trying to recreate the experience – no luck! HP does the best bobotie in the world! They loved the drive from Cape Town to Hout Bay over Chapman’s Peak, they did the Open Top Bus twice, Table Mountain and the V&A. We drove them around to places we had had known from years ago (we are shattered at the amount of houses that have been built where once no-one wanted to live! And we are shattered at the amount of slums which are euphemistically called “informal settlements” which have popped up in once beauty spots such as Hout Bay, Scarborough, Kommetjie, etc. Who are these people and where do they all find work?).

Our last big drive was to Stellenbosch where they did a guided walk of the town while I pottered in the toy and miniature museum and R went off to suss out the wine farms. We all met back at the tourist bureau at lunchtime and then went off to Lanzerac (once in the heart of the country and now has suburbia built right up to its gates) for a wine tasting. 5 glasses were placed in front of each of us and a little cheese board on which 5 spoon things each held a chocolate. Then the young man in charge gave a chat about each wine in turn and the chocolate that went with it. At the end we were told we could have lunch in the main restaurant but we were happy with what we’d had and just walked around the hotel admiring the architecture and gardens. A wine-tasting with a difference!

Our last day, yesterday, was SO glorious that we decided to drive out to Simonstown via Kommetjie and Scarborough for a fish and chips lunch at Salty’s. As Jan has been connected with the sea for the last 50 years or so he just loves anywhere there are boats, so he was fascinated with Simonstown. Then we dropped them at the airport, breathed a sigh of relief and drove home to the flat in Tamboerskloof where we promptly moved our stuff out of the small bedroom and into the big one with the view of Table Mountain!!

Getting my ducks in a row

  I’m trying to get ready for our overseas trip as well as expecting Belgian visitors day after tomorrow. As usual I write out a long list of our assets which includes bank account details (pins, passwords, etc.) and I have come to the conclusion that it is just easier NOT to die!

For most of the details I’ve said “look in my Little Red Book” (OAP calls it my Bible!) but then suddenly I realized that I take the Little Red Book with me so if the plane goes down so does the book! Likewise the cell phone which also has all my details of everyone I know and which is a back up for the Little Red Book. And writing out all the pernickety details of how to get into a bank account just goes against the grain! What if Eldest Daughter’s house gets burgled and the baddies get all my details? What do we do about the properties not in South Africa? I think the kids are supposed to go overseas taking with them proof that they are my kids and carrying a copy of our death certificate!

My tendency is to say “Oh bother, it’s too much trouble” and just leave it for another day, but part of me says “Just put it down on paper and let them deal with it when the time comes”.

If we can just hang on for another year we will have consolidated a bit and it will be less awkward, but having said that, OAP has just opened yet another bank account – this time with Capitec (the people’s bank!) because, hmmm, not sure why but it made him happy so what the heck!

So I have decided to stay on for another 20 years until I am an old, miserable git that they can’t wait to get rid of! Maybe they could incarcerate me in the cellar of You Know Where with the Flaming Salamanders and leave me to haunt the house for the next couple of hundred years!

The Leg

I walk again! In my whole life I have never known what it’s like to be unable to walk! Since breaking my fibula at the end of January this has been a total frustration. After 4 weeks in a plaster cast I was sent to an orthopaedic surgeon because the fracture wasn’t knitting, in fact it was further apart and now slightly displaced. He operated and inserted a screw from underneath the “knuckle” bone (I think that’s the malleolus) into the upper part to hold the fracture together and correctly aligned. This was done in the dismal Rustenburg hospital called Ferncrest which could really use a makeover! Us orthopaedic day patients were put in a windowless ward in the maternity section which was so freezing cold that I worried more about catching cold than about the op! Actually I don’t even remember being taken into theatre! Whatever they gave as a pre-op knocked me out and I had to ask OAP a couple of days later what happened!!! I don’t remember coming round or going home and yet I am informed that when he came to fetch me I was sitting up eating supper and quite chatty! Apparently we had to wait hours for the only wheelchair the hospital owns to take me out to the car. It was painful but not in plaster, just bandaged and with a splint to stop it moving and strict instructions NOT to put any weight on it. A week later I went back to the orthopod who removed the splint and dressings and put the leg in a fiberglass cast with by ankle now bent at 90 degrees. All concerned, including me, was amazed at how black and swollen the foot still was so I left with instructions to keep the leg up higher than my heart to get rid of the swelling and to get a “boot” fitted to the cast which would allow me to begin walking. Apparently walking will encourage bone growth – but after every walk I have to lie down and raise the leg for a couple of hours!! Anyway for one reason or another it was another 4 days before we could get to the “boot” place where I was fitted with a neoprene shoe that velcros around my foot. An ingenious device that enables me to walk with ease!!!! I still have to be careful only to put a bit of weight on the ankle but what a relief to have my “other” leg back!! I can stand while unbuttoning and unzipping my shorts to get to the loo, I can stand while I wash up – which is about the only housework I can do with ease, I can even, with some trepidation, get up and downstairs which means I can revert to our upstairs bedroom (when OAP has got rid of his ghastly head cold – poor man!) so that our guests from Belgium will be able to have the guest room! Meanwhile, I, for the first time in my life, have a MAID!!!! I am totally in love with Paulina who arrives on a Saturday morning and whizzes through the housework and leaves a few hours later with R100. I know, minimum wage hasn’t hit here yet and I was told not to rock the boat by everyone else who employs her! OAP still puts the washing in the machines in the laundry and hangs it on the lines he’s strung in there but Paulina, like a good fairy, goes in and takes it down, folds and irons and leaves it for him to collect in the wash basket. I think I shall employ her forever!


The day I had the boot fitted I walked from one end of the shopping mall to the other ( in Woolworths I realized that I couldn’t carry any of the stuff I’d bought so had to put most of it back and fit the rest into a little backpack I was wearing!) and then met OAP for lunch in the food court. I was shattered and sweating like a horse after running the Derby. I know I overdid it that day but it was such a break through that I was elated.

Each day I walk up and down the driveway to get stronger and in a weeks time will be able to put a little more weight on that leg until I can just walk normally on it. Unfortunately (for the leg) we are off to Cape Town with the Belgians on the 2nd March and this cast is supposed to come off on the 11th so I will have to have XRays and find an orthopod in Cape Town who will take it off and fit me with a sports brace which I then have to wear for the next 6 weeks.

So, a very expensive lesson has been learned: Birding is Dangerous!

Hairy legs

Has anyone any idea how long leg hair will grow if left to its own designs?   Mine is about half an inch long on my right leg after 5 weeks in plaster!  I only know because I am in an interim period of crepe bandage before the next plaster is applied tomorrow.  I am able to peep down inside the dressing and can see - a GORILLA'S leg!!!  DIsgusting!!!   I started shaving my legs when I was 15 and have never seen hairs on them since!  Even when I had jaundice I didn't have hair like this!  Maybe it grows better when its under cover?   Tomorrow I have the stitches/staples removed and a plaster cast applied and I hope its more comfortable than this odd half cast I have on which feels as if I have iron manacles (manicles?) around my ankle.  Last night I drifted off to sleep (with the aid of a pill) imaging only too vividly how slaves must have felt.   Doesn't matter how I lie, sit, stand it seems to rub on the ankle bone where I had the screw put in.  OAP pointed out that it's probably the ends of each broken bone rubbing together where they are screwed together but this is such an awful thought that I prefer the manacle/manicle one!

But if you want an even worse picture imagine this:  night before last we had a centipede in the bed!  Twice I felt it crawl on me and you wouldn't believe how quick I can get out of bed when I need to!  The first time I thought it was maybe a moth or a Christmas beetle but the second time (about 5am) I saw it - about 4 inches long, flat and red/brown with zillions of legs!  It whipped off into the folds of the bedclothes and OAP had no choice but to get up, shake out each bit of bedclothes and then spray.   He then admitted that it had crawled on him in the night but he couldn't be bothered to do anything about it!  Those things STING!!!!   When the grandchildren were little they always wanted to make their beds in the dormer window areas upstairs - but luckily when it came to bedtime (and dark) they wanted to get into OUR bed.  Problem with the dormer windows was I occasionally found a centipede in there under the mat or whatever had been left in there.  I think that's because there is so much wildlife inside the skin of the dormer - there's a family of squirrels and a flock of bats just for starters and their droppings are a smorgasbord for centipedes who hunt there looking for breakfast, lunch and dinner!  So every now and then one comes inside the house - i'm sure by accident but nevertheless it's IN.   Now the one in the bed has still not been found and the spray never got it unless it dragged all 100 legs off somewhere to die 'cause I got on the floor yesterday with the flashlight and looked under the bed and didn't see it lying, one hundred legs in the air, dead!  That means it's still here somewhere and hopefully NOT inside my leg thingie which, to a centipede, would make a wonderful dark and hairy nesting place!!!  Shudder!!!!

Other People's Blogs

I don't often troll through other people's blogs unless they are recommended but this morning I began with one called "Names I rejected for my new Blowdry salon", went on to "What my kids think I do all day while they are at school" and ended with "Oh Lord, Won't You buy me a Volvo SUV" by Wendy Aarons.   Read this last one - Wendy Aarons has a wonderful style of writing and this particular one is very good.

And meanwhile, can I lay a complaint to the other members of our Blogging Group?   Why is NO-ONE else blogging?  Dearie - you don't even Facebook very often!   I am now, because of being laid up and being totally bored, quite into Facebook and even enjoy looking at all the photos of OAP's nieces and nephews children!  But I want to see pics of MY nieces children! 

The one easy part of Facebook is I can flick on to it on my phone - Yes, I can email and blog on my phone too but prefer to use a computer to do this - the pictures are bigger for one!

What else Can Possibly Go Wrong, Go Wrong, Go Wrong?

While I'm laid up with stupid leg in plaster and both leg muscles feeling as if I've been working out at the gym for hours at a time, OAP took the car into town to get a few things - and the WHEEL FELL OFF!!!!!!!!

It had been squeaking badly for some time and last visit to Joburg I took it into Honda instead of having a couple of hours browsing the Mall.  They put it up on the ramp and then called me and said it was unroadworthy and I should call a tow truck to get us back to Honda Rustenburg.  SO, of course, we drove back to Rustenburg and R, scoffing at the scare tactics just put out by some pimply mechanic to make me spend tons of money with them, drove it into Rustenburg next day to see HIS mechanic.  His mechanic scoffed at the idea of the wheel falling off but said that it DID need work done and ordered the parts.  Since then it's made 4 more trips into Rustenburg including the one on Monday where I had X/Rays and then got my leg put in plaster.   I suppose I must be grateful the wheel didn't come off THEN!

Anyhoo - OAP drove off gaily yesterday and then phoned about an hour later to say the front left wheel had come off just as he turned a corner SLOWLY thank heavens and he now needed a flat bed truck to take car to his mechanic - yes, the one who said it wouldn't come off!   I am a member of the AA - not OAP who feels it's a totally unnecessary expense!  So I phone the AA and tell them the story and the operator says they can only respond if I am in trouble so I put on a pathetic voice and tell him I am at home with a broken ankle and had to send OAP with my car to do the shopping, etc.  The AA go out and collect him and he had to sit at the mechanic's all day waiting for the parts and then getting a lift home with a friend who is temporarily living in the house just above us here in Utopia.   I suppose it could have been worse: like ME driving, or on Monday when I'd just been put in plaster, or at speed on the highway on our way into or out of Joburg!  So here we sit with no Honda and only OAP's old Merc which we can't drive further than the end of the road!

Moral of this story? Don't get up early in the morning!

It does not pay to get up early! It is the one thing that I hate doing and yet I love birding so every now and then (like once a year) I make the effort. This year was Saturday morning. We’ve had house guests all week – first a hippie couple from Cape Town for three nights and then a great couple from our hiking club for two nights. But 6 days and five nights of constant talking pushed me into making the effort to join the bird club at a local reserve to look for the Painted Snipe. At 4.30 am my alarm went off and I got up, dressed, made tea and a sandwich and OAP came downstairs to say goodbye just I was slipping out into the early dawn. It was GLORIOUS! We’ve been having such hot weather and this was cool and clear and obviously going to be a scorcher of a day.


An hour later I arrived at the gates of the reserve and paid my entrance fee along with 6 million masochistic cyclists fully kitted out in the latest gear with their little water packs on their backs and their little pipes next to their cheeks should they feel the need to have a “sluk” whenever. I remembered the days when we cycled and wore an old Tshirt and a pair of padded hellenca stretch cycling pants and had a bottle clipped onto the bike frame – obviously not good enough for this lot!

The rest of the club members arrived (having got up about 10 minutes before) and we set off for the camp site in the top end of the park. From there we picked our way through the waist high grass, praying the snakes were still asleep, down to the wetlands below. Normally you are not allowed to do this but we had permission which felt great. That’s the nice thing about joining clubs for this and that – you get to go places where the plebs can’t go! Down in the wetland area we discovered why we had been advised to wear “wellies”. The water was about knee deep in places and the mud even deeper! I don’t have wellies as I put them in the “box for France” (this is a box in a store room in town where we put all the things we want to take and know we’ll forget! It used to be the Swiss box but is now the French box). So, not having wellies I wore my hiking boots and having forgotton socks wore two pairs of OAP’s gym socks that he’d left in my car. Hiking boots were by far the best footwear unless you had a pair of waders anyway as one or two gave up on the chase after getting stuck in the mud and others ended up with as much water in their boots as out. Once I got my feet wet I didn’t mind the feel and just sploshed along with leaders of the hunt. You needed to be up front as they flushed the birds and that was the only sight one got! They sit still until you nearly tread on them and then suddenly flap up in your face giving their drumming call – heart attack stuff! I was chief flusher after the first half hour as the two lead men wanted to try to get photos so there I was like a retriever squishing around the tufts of long grass trying to stay out of the deepest areas. Some of the flatter areas looked so tempting until you put a foot on the grass and realized that the whole “lawn” was afloat! After 3 ½ hours of this we decided to go back to the cars and join the others and look for other birds in the area. Almost back at the road I fell into an Aardvark hole and twisted an ankle. It was hidden under grassy tufts and I must have just got the edge with my right foot, so the ankle went over and then down 3 feet! It was actually so embarrassing that I made out it was nothing and managed to pull myself together and hobble back to the car where we ate our breakfast – I took off my boots as my ankle was screaming but this was possibly a mistake as it ballooned out spectacularly! Couldn’t eat breakfast as I felt quite sick and left soon after to go home while the club went off looking for Tree Pipits (that would have been a first for me but I just couldn’t think of anything worse!). At home the guests had gone and I lots of tea and sympathy and I am now feeling a bit better and am able to stand on it but can’t bend it or move the foot, so tomorrow am off back to Rustenburg to have X/Rays.

Tuesday: X/Rays showed a fracture - the whole knob bit at then end of the bone has broken off so I am now in plaster up to my knee and not allowed to put weight on it.  In two weeks time I have another X/Ray to see if it is knitting (not crocheting) and if not then I have to have a screw inserted.  Don't like the sound of that so I am being fairly good and hobbling around on OAP's crutches.  Not easy - all my weight is divided between my left leg and the crutches and boy am I heavy!  Also the cast feels like I am wearing my right knee length boot from the 70s - too tight and I want to take it off, especially before getting int bed!  That just feels WRONG!  I can't lie on my stomach either as then it hurts like hell.  This is going to be a LONG two weeks with the house getting dirtier and dirtier (OAP doesn't see dirt!) and, as we've had a constant stream of guests, there is much to be done.  This morning I had to instruct OAP in the art of getting the weekly wash done - what a frustration!  Everything I take for granted had to be explained over and over and then all the clothes and bedding got slung in lumps over the line!  How the heck does he think it will dry?  At least I can ask one of the ladies here to iron some things for us or he can take a bar stool and I can sit and do it. 

Happy New Year!

Sorry I haven't blogged for so long but I have felt that nothing worthwhile has been happening!  After Sally left for Oz I felt flat and also panick-struck as I realised I only had a month left in which to finish my last assignment.  I now only have 4 days so I decided to blog instead!  I also listened to a pod on my mp3 all about procrastination and why some people are prone to it and others not.  I learned it is an illness (much like alcoholism!) so now I know why I never get things done until the last minute - I am ill!!!!!

To please OAP I agreed to go to our Hiking Club hut and campsite on the other side of the mountain for New Years Eve but I refused to put up a tent for just 2 nights.  My little isodome is falling to bits and I cannot be bothered to erect the big cottage tent - no sooner would I have it up than it would be time to take it down again!  As it was, there was a small room in the hut that we could use (the other rooms were full - 5 men in the one, from where a most awful cacophony of snoring emanated each night! and a man and two women in the other) - it's very basic but at least we were dry which was more than could be said of the campers as it hailed and rained for a couple of hours on Sunday night and again on Monday morning.  That dampened the spirits no end and not a few packed up and left!  The weather has been appalling for the last month with hideously hot days followed by a dreadful storm and then two days of winter!  Many are sick with flu, coughs, colds, etc.  luckily we have missed that.   So - we, at least were dry, and I could retreat to our little room (with a curtain for a door so not soundproof) whenever I felt I'd had enough company or felt the urge to type a bit more of my assignment into the computer.  Actually it was nice to see the old (and I do mean OLD!) faces and catch up on gossip.  On Monday morning I nipped home to get us each a jersey as it had been so hot when we left Utopia that I forgot to put anything warm in! And when I got back it had warmed up and even at 11pm we didn't need anything warm!  Oh well!   OAP, as usual, tried to drink the bar dry so we went to bed at 11.30 and I heard the countdown from bed!  But we never usually see the new year in so that was fine.  In the morning we had a champagne breakfast with 10 of our best friends and I think, somewhere in my enthusiasm of being with old hiking buddies, I have booked myself onto the GR5 hike in the French alps for next summer!!!!!!  Still I can always cancel - WILL cancel, using OAP as an excuse!   One of our friends who is now living in UK but was back here for a holiday kept exclaiming "I can't get over how none of you have changed!" until she bumped into a guy she used to hike with and called his partner Sheila - the name of his ex!!!  After that, every time she said how little someone had changed we'd say "except Sheila, eh Gaynor?!!!!!!" she will never live it down and neither of the couple spoke to her after that!

Last night we went to dinner with friends of ours on the other side of Utopia (near the tennis courts for those that know Utopia).  Had a great evening - even though it rained again!  It rained last time we saw them too!  Got home at 10.30 and slept like logs!

Carolyn is settled in Natal and getting her new school ready for the opening - next week I think.  Ciaran seems to have settled too and made lots of friends. Marc seems to be working in Jhb still and is flying or driving up and down each weekend - don't ask!  Lisa, Schalk and Jack are having an exhausted blast in Switzerland - hope you've been reading her blog?  Kean and Gisela spent a week in the flat in Cape Town as it was Gisela's best friend's wedding.  They enjoyed it so much that they want to go again in February.  May as well before we sell the apartment and everyone says"Oh I meant to go down and now I can't!"  Use it or lose it is my motto!

OAP is walking well and wants to have the other knee done in February which gives him 6 weeks to recover before our Belgian friends arrive for 2 weeks, but we will leave it up to the surgeon.

OAP is the one with his back to the camera - he's making the toast!

May 2013 be a good year for all of you and I hope you stay healthy and happy.