Mind your language!

Just when I think my French is improving something happens to set me back a pace or two (reminding me of the old fashioned tikkie-draai form of dancing - two steps forward, one step back).   A week last Sunday we were having a smashing time at a local car-boot sale, where we knew a lot of people making it a really social occasion.  We decided to have lunch altogether in the marquee erected for that reason and everyone was tossing back the Sangria, beers and wine.  I just CAN'T drink like that (especially in the middle of a very hot day!) so asked for an 'eau mineral' - the barman asked me to repeat it, so I did - twice more - and then he said in perfect english "tell me in english"!  I said 'WATER' and he said Oh!  For heavens sake - my accent can't be THAT bad can it!!!!   The second occasion was at the AGM of our local heritage association which was followed by (also rather boozy) lunch.   As we were all sitting genteely burping and quaffing the last of the red wine, the chairman maqde his way behind everyone, leaning down to say a few words here and there.  When he got to us he leaned over us and asked a question which I assumed to be something along the lines of "Did you enjoy your lunch?"  to which I gaily and sincerely replied "Oui, tres bien, merci" .   He looked a bit surprised and actually rather delighted and carried on up the table.   I sat back satisfied with my performance and got re-involved in the chatter around us.   A little later a voice announced that petanque (boules) was being set up outside and would we all get a move on please and a funny little niggle wormed its way into my brain - had Michel asked if we'd enjoyed the lunch or had he asked IF WE PLAY PETANQUE?   It was the latter and not only THAT but it was played with wooden cubes and NOT round balls which we are used to!   But it made for a really hilarious afternoon in the HOT sun during which I developed a dreadful neck and arms and top of bosoms tan!!  And it also broke the ice with an awful lot of people we had met but not really gelled with!   After 12 games (a set) which the men won (OAP hadn't a clue what he was supposed to do but aquitted himself with honour!) everyone had a couple of beers - even me (well it was hot!) and then the ladies called for a re-match (which the men also won but only by one point which we agreed was necessary for them to retain their dignity) after which the rest of the crate of beers was despatched with.  I managed to sneakily fill a bottle with water and so kept all the pressure off!  It was 5.30 pm by the time the party broke up and we made our way home - agreeing that France, especially the Limousin, is a great place to be on a lazy sunny day.