One and One equals ?Hmmmm - Let me see.......

Am I the only woman who is completely dyslexic when it comes to shopping?   Today I bought about 350g of Italian cherries for CHF1.15 per 100g.  The notice above the Swiss cherries said they were CHF9.50 per kilo.  1.15 vs 9.50 = no brainer!  Triumphantly putting them into the shopping cart that OAP was wielding like a medieval weapon I felt so virtuous that I'd chosen the cheaper ones until he looked at the price tag and shrieked "Why the expensive Italian ones?"  I patiently explained my logic - he IMpatiently explained that 9.50 per kilo is cheaper than 10 X 1.15.  Finally I saw his point and took the cherries back and chose a bagful of the Swiss ones instead - what a laugh, they came to R5.95!  If he'd just left it with the Italian ones we'd have had less cherries but at a cost of CHF3.95!

This then brings me to the cocnut we bought last week.  After fiddling around trying to work out the cost of a whole coconut with milk inside (yum!) as opposed to coconut flesh chopped into inch lengths about half an inch wide.  I came to the conclusion that the ready cut ones were cheaper so put a handful or two into a bag and had it weighed - quelle horreur!  It came to CHF15!!  I then again realised that it was X amount per 100g.  As the whole coconut was MUCH less (CHF2.95) I put back the bag of cut and chose a whole one (shaking it carefully next to my ear to see which one had more milk inside).   I finally poked a screwdiver through one of its "eyes" two days ago and found it was sour!  Wah!!!  I went and got a hammer and opened it up and it was all nasty inside - I didn't bother bringing it back inside as it was a bit smelly and half an hour later looked out and there was a Blue Jay busy with one half and 2 slugs happily chomping away at the other!   We were going to take it back today and complain but the birds LOVE it, so, expensive birdfood it may be, they deserve it!  Today a large black dog carted the one half off before I could do anthing about it.  The other is on the table outside where the dog can't get to it!

Lying to your spouse by default!

Why do women lie to their partners/spouses - and do you consider it lying to hide things from them?  I know why I do it - my OAP tends to battle to remember the simplest things these days but let me step out of line and make a mistake of some sorts and boy he never forgets!

So when I couldn't find my Nintendo on arrival in Switzerland I thought I'd left it in the seat pocket in front of me in the plane.  I had to wait for twenty four hours before I could use the phone without OAP overhearing.  This was when he finally walked down to the garage to reconnect the car battery.  I watched as he walked down the garden path almost to the drive way and then, feeling like a woman about to phone her lover, I grabbed the phone and dialed the number I'd looked up the night before after he went to bed.  After a series of failed attempts to get through to the right department I finally got through to the lost property section who said "No" there was no Nintendo game handed in from that flight.  I put the phone down just as OAP walked in through the door - giving the phone a final wipe with the duster I cleverly had to hand I nonchalently walked away and dusted the mantlepiece!!!  Oh what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive!!! As Scott or someone cleverly said.  I felt quite sick about the loss of my beloved Nintendo, not only as I am totally hooked on playing it every chance I get, but also because it was given to me by my dearest Elder Sister for my 60th birthday.  A jolly expensive prezzie and now carelessly lost.  Just as bad was it contained Travel Puzzles for Dummies which my beloved Elder Daughter gave me and to which I am completely adicted.
OAP and I went shopping at the first opportunity (shopping is something we both love doing except he likes to spend as little as possible and I love to spend as much as possible and anyway it all sounds so cheap as long as I don't recalibrate into rands!) and I managed to get away from him for 5 minutes in Cora.  This is a huge French store near Evian which sells absolutely everything.  Now the idea was that I buy the exact same Nintendo called a DS-lite in the same colour (white) so that OAP wouldn't know I'd lost mine.  But they had pink, green and black and they were expensive and 3D and there was no way even OAP could think they were the same one.   I mean, I can be jolly rude about OAP and slag him off cheerfully at the slightest chance, but I really couldn't see even him making an oversight like that.

Each time we've gone to the shops I've managed to slip away to look in the electronics stores, leaving me more and more disconsolate and OAP more and more puzzled as to where I keep disappearing to!  Today we left the car down at the dealer in the Rhone Valley below for a service and walked to the nearest shopping centre to while away the time until the car was ready.  There was an electronics shop there which I looked in - no luck.  The supermarket had an electronics section - no luck.  Then at lunch in the supermarket cafeteria I remembered that I'd promised to try to find a pair of moonboots for Golden Boy grandson, so off I went leaving OAP resting his belly on the table, glad to take the weight off his feet.  On my way across the carpark to Les Halles Chaussures I spotted the enormous toy store and on the off chance I went in to see if they had Nintendos.   THEY DID!!!  AND - they were discounting the DS-lite because ALL THE KIDS TODAY WANT 3D ones and they don't want white apparently!!!  SO I bought a white one and also a game to replace the one I lost in the Nintendo I lost.  I had cleverly brought my backpack along instead of a handbag so stuffed it in to the bottom putting my jacket and jersey on top and quickly looked in the sho shop (where they thought I was completely mad looking for snow boots in summer - I have to tell you at this point that it actually snowed last night - above 1800 metres) and back to OAP.

After picking up the car and driving home I cleverly dropped OAP at top of driveway so he wouldn't have to wear whats left of his knee joints walking up the 1 in 3 driveway and drove the car down to the garage.  I thought I'd take the new Nintendo and stuff out of the box and hide the box in the cupboard just in case I needed it.  I opened my backpack to take my jacket out and felt something hard in the lining at the back of the bag and on inspecting closely I discovered a pocket I'd forgotton was there and in there?  Yes, you've guessed - my old friend - my NINTENDO!!!!  

SO, what now?  After spending nearly a week trying to escape the beady eye of OAP to find this Holy Grail do I now once again try to escape and get to the shopping centre we were at today (one we NEVER normally frequent!) to take it back or shall I squirrel it away in case I ever do lost my baby or it breaks or I can't make out the screen anymore (they scratch with frequent play and although I do say it myself I DO play it NON-STOP never mind frequently!).