Guests!

Ask anyone and they will tell you that unless it's close family a guest should remember the Golden Rule: "only stay for 3 nights".  Read any book written by an english man/woman who has bought a house in France and they will tell you that you can't rid of your guests once they are ensconced. I now understand what they were talking about!  I do realise that the sort of people who are buying little stone cottages in remote villages in the most remote and rural area of France are likely (as in my case) to be the sort who actively avoid other people when they can, but heck, why is only the guests you WANT to stay for longer who know the Golden Rule?  Of course I lay most of the blame at OAP's door as he was the one practically begging everyone we know to come and visit and "stay as long as you like", but on the other hand he, like me, thought they would at least get out and about and do some exploring on their own.

Our latest guest is an old business chum of OAPs and visits us in Europe every year, usually accompanied by his little fox terrier that I used to find cute.  Now he is old, cranky and sheds needle like hairs into (NOT onto) all the furniture that his doting owner allows him on (which is all of it).  He also has a dicey bowel.  So OAP suggested he get left behind in Germany this visit and we were both happy to hear an acknowledgement of this suggestion.  But Herr OAP obviously doesn't like to travel alone and asked if he could bring his grandson.  As we felt a bit guilty about the loose-bowelled dog we felt obliged to say this was fine.  So he turned up on Saturday with BOTH grandsons as the younger one "felt left out".  I must say that I enjoyed the company of the kids (much more my sort of thing than old men who do nothing but drink and pontificate) but he insisted that they were HIS responsibility and that I mustn't do anything for them.  Stupid me - taking him at his word!  I was obviously supposed to say "No No I insist" but didn't and watched these poor boys go through boredom, hunger and homesickness while Oupa drank himself into a coma each day.  Eventually I'd had enough and insisted he take them to the lake for a swim (the temperatures here are incredibly high - yes, I know, it was only a short time ago that I was whining about the cold) but he would only go if we also went.  SO into the car we piled, the two OAPs in the front in comfort and the 2 boys and me in the back seat with both boys tickling, punching and kicking each other - God, how my hand itched!  Once at the lake the men spent half an hour examining the menu at the restaurant while the boys and I went to the beach.  But they wouldn't go in! OAP and Herr OAP arrived finally at the beach and there we sat, roasting, waiting for the boys to swim.  Eventually OAP borrowed a cozzie and went in himself, whereupon the boys joyfully followed!  Hmmmm.  As soon as he came out of the water so did they and then they wanted to eat.  We had lunch at the restaurant and then went home where the boys decided they were bored and hungry!  I made supper and we watched TV - I went to bed at 11 leaving them all up waiting for a phone call from German Mom.
Tuesday I thought they were leaving and had made pad kos for them the night before but instead was gleefully told that they were now going to visit the Wolves of Chabriere and the Maze.  I garbed up in gardening togs, grabbed the weed whacker and pretended to be an invading British army attacking across the Rhine!  They came back at 3pm having seen the Wolves (not a word about how good or bad it was) not the Maze but the inside of a supermarket that Herr Oupa liked and the boys were starving as they had eaten nothing since breakfast (a slice of bread with cold meat).  So I cooked for them and went off with our neighbours to a local village celebration (the 1st anniversary of the bakery).  Came back at 6pm to find them braaing so made potato salad and a huge green salad to go with the meat. 
Wednesday I thought they were leaving (you would think I would learn!) only to find they wanted to go to the local market.  That took up the best part of an hour and then they were bored and - guess what? - hungry!   They actually left yesterday - our fridge is bare and we are exhausted and the house looked like a tip!  I spent all day cleaning and washing bedding which I ironed in 31 degree heat today, while OAP took to his bed!!
Next guests arrive end of August.