Brother in Law Memories

What do you say to someone who knows that it's only a matter of time before he leaves this adventure for the next?  Is most of our sadness for ourselves, those of us who are being left behind and who will miss him terribly?  This man who was once so vibrant and full of life and who I held in such high esteem when I was young and unmarried, has now reached the end of the road that we are all walking towards and I want to share some memories that have been comforting me for nights now.

I remember the days when he and my sister first met.  We were living in Clifton, Cape Town, and the sun seemed to shine every day.  He taught me to surf and introduced me to his many navy friends.  I was never without a date in those days!  I remember when he and my sister got married in the Naval Chapel in Simonstown and I stood behind the bridal couple and saw that their legs were shaking with nerves.  I remember when I met my husband to be and the first people I wanted to tell were my sister and brother in law.  I spent hours in their flat in Plumstead playing with my new niece and was always made to feel welcome.

He never used my name but always called me Sister in Law in a fond way.  He looked after me and saved me from many a disaster and always made me welcome in his home.  When he and my sis lived in Gordon's Bay they had a dog called Dfer and a cat called Cfer!  They also had a black hairy spider called Fred made of fluff and pipe cleaners with which we used to play tricks on each other.  One day I placed Fred in Brother in Law's naval cap and he got a fright when he went to put in on in the morning!  I thought that was great till I went in the kitchen to get some fruit and saw that he had placed Fred on top of the box.  Laughing at his crude attempt I picked Fred up only to discover to my horror that this was a real Bobbejaan Spinnekop (Jumping Spider). I screamed wildly as "Fred" jumped out of my hand and onto the wall.  Our mom (also staying there) came running and beat poor Fred to death with a bottle of Coke!!  We never mucked around with Fred again!

Brother in Law had hundreds of brothers that I could never quite get straight as they all seemed to look alike, sound alike and, as most of them followed B in L into the navy, dressed alike!  He was one of the first people I knew to get a computer and I used to love babysitting so I could play Space Invaders and Pacman on the green and black screen until my eyes nearly fell out of my head.  

I went to parades, launching of ships and parties and dinners and met loads of interesting people all through B in L and will always be grateful for the support he gave me through most of my adulthood.

After losing touch with him for years we met again over the internet and it was with great joy that I was able to communicate with him again. My kids were always made welcome and loved him and after a long break in communication seem also to have found him again, sadly only to lose him so soon.

We love you B in L and look forward to seeing you on the other side where, no doubt, you will once more show us the ropes just like you did this side.